the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
