Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
