so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
