And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize