That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize