Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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