Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
