i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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