Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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