Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's official drugs can't kill me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
