Kiss
Puke
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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