Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
