she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
