So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
