dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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