i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
