You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
