it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
