bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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