I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
