so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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