Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
