What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
