dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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