Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
