What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sober January is a disaster.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
