Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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