why didn't you poke me back
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
