Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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