glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
