Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
