I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
