Will you blow on my dice?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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