Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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