operation harelip BJ is a go
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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