clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
