batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
