he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
