at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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