Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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