seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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