You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
