Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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