My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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