**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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