Me. At least after what I've been through.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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