Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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