$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
