the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
