..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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