Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Randomize
