considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
