well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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