She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
