I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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