Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
