Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
