Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
