My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
